Dinner Gone Wrong

Banning children? Maybe by now you’ve heard about the restaurant near Pittsburgh that is banning all children under the age of six. The owner’s week-old announcement has definitely made waves in pop culture throughout the U.S. I heard about it while working-out this morning as Q104 took calls from people weighing in on the ban. I was surprised when I later Googled it to find out that even the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) had picked up the story.

My reaction has run the full gamut of thoughts and emotions.  At first, I saw the merits of the ban. I reasoned that it’s his restaurant; he can do what he wants. No one has to eat there if they don’t like his policies.

But, then I started thinking about the civil rights end of things and wondered if it’s even legal for him to discriminate based on age. I mean, we don’t let owners ban certain customers because of their skin color or belief system. And, last time I checked, most of us believe that is a GOOD standard for us to stick to.

But, then, I could site other examples where age is a qualifier for certain admissions or places. For a while, my thoughts just swirled there – around the legal and moral implications of it. Honestly, I’m still not sure where I’ll land on all of that.

But, do you want to know what really shocked (and disturbed) me? It wasn’t the owner or his decision or even the news outlets that picked up the story. It wasn’t even that 60 percent of the readers polled by WSJ thought the ban was a good idea. Whether I agree or disagree, I can see their side of it – especially when a lot of parents let their kids run rampant in public.

No, those things didn’t disturb me. The thing that floored me was the commenting
by readers on the WSJ site and by callers on the radio show.

I was shocked by the utter disdain expressed regarding children. Seriously. It was gut-wrenching to read some of these comments. Let me share just a few from the WSJ website:

“Bravo to this restaurant. I have no children and do not like children for the main reason these days there are many more unruly, rude, undisciplined children and their parents out there inflicting themselves on people like me who have to travel by air and are stuck with them. (These horror stories could fill a book.) Go to a nice wedding and it is ruined by children running around totally out of control… Children are everywhere and there seems to be a modern family way now of letting the kids do and say whatever they want…to the expense of others. Enough! Bravo!”

“Nicely done. When spending $50-$75 on a meal with a friend, the last thing I, or anyone else wants to hear, is the screaming, squealing sound of a baby/infant. [You] know d#@ned well that the sound of a baby howling is the most God awful racket known to humankind.”

“When I go to a restaurant and they ask “smoking or non-smoking,”  I simply tell them “no children.” I do not want to see them, smell them, or hear them.”

“No one should endure an evening with disruptive children present.”

The gist of most of the negative comments was that families with children should be relegated to McDonald’s and stay far away from sit-down restaurants. Children were often referred to as brats and parents were often called stupid or idiotic. I found the whole discussion disheartening.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand some of their angst. Just last Fall I was in (LOVE that place) and had a family come in that basically let their children run wild. Part of Tantos charm is that it is a small space. But that charm changes a tad when undisciplined children take over the place. My date-time discussion with my husband was definitely derailed by their presence. (So, we did the only rational thing possible in Tantos – we just stopped talking and focused on our burritos instead! Silver lining.)

I’ve been on planes with whiny toddlers. Been shoved by kids trying to get to their seat in the movie theater. I do get it. Kids can completely change the ambiance of a place. Especially when those kids are ill-mannered and inconsiderate.

But, I’m just not so sure that it’s healthy for us to embrace an anti-family mantra that is motivated primarily (in this case) by convenience and entitlement. To say that "a screaming baby is the most God-awful racket known to humankind" seems a little over the top.

Do you catch the implications of some of these comments? These children are being viewed as annoying barriers. Like pests that should be brushed aside. Is that really how we want to think about and treat other people?  To despise their presence just because they aren’t as refined as we would like? And it bothers us?